Women’s Ministry: A Rant

If you know me, then you know that I’m Baptist-born and Baptist-bred and when I die I’ll be Baptist dead. I am one of those girls that memorized the church covenant and knows all four verses of my favorite hymns. Sometimes I wish they’d bring back Baptist Training Union, and then I remember I like brunch more than I actually like being at church.

But also, if you know me, you know that nothing can tick me off like the church. I jokingly threaten to convert to Methodism every time the Baptists make me mad, so let me tell you how the Baptists angered me this week.

The National Baptist Convention is coming to KC next week, and my little church-girl heart was excited. I knew that meant that some of the pastors I can only see on YouTube would be in town this week. I knew that there would be a fantastic musical at some point in time, and I knew that the Baptist women’s auxiliary would be meeting.

So I took a quick peek at the schedule. I saw some of Kansas City’s favorite sons were on program, as well as one of my favorite preachers. I checked my calendar to see if I could attend any of those events. And then, I looked at the flyer for the women’s auxiliary, and I darn near threw my phone.

Do you know what the first program is for the women’s auxiliary? A blasted fashion show. I almost cussed. We deserve better. I deserve better. As a Baptist woman, I am incensed. I am grieving and trying to care for my ailing mother. I am trying to parent a young adult, while also parenting a teenager, and an adolescent. I’m also trying to maintain a marriage, while also trying to stretch every dollar. Oh yes, and the world is also on fire! I am desperately in need of a women’s ministry to walk through the Bible and through life with me.

I don’t care that Sister So-and-So’s organza suit perfectly matches those red-bottoms. (She does look sharp though!) This isn’t about the first lady’s suit collections. Heck, a decade or so I go, I had a couple of those suits in my closet. I want the first ladies to look spectacular. I love a good shoe and hat combination. But a four hour fashion show as the opening event for the national convention…We have to do better than that. Yes, from 9:00 to 1:00, there’s no prayer meeting, no Bible study, no street evangelism, or even a training session.

Here’s the thing. I know women’s ministry is hard. Women, who make up a majority of our congregations, are not a monolith. We are in every stage of life. Our interests are varied, and again, the world is on fire. It is difficult to find one thing that all of us will be drawn to…except we’re talking about Baptist women who are attending the national convention!! These are women who believe in the power in prayer. They are women who teach Sunday school and lead praise and worship. They believe in Jesus. And instead of having a four hour prayer session, or a worship experience, the organizers of this event decided to have a fashion show.

And women, who like me, desperately need a prayer circle and a divine word, are completely left out. This is my beef with women’s ministry. It usually tends to cater to a very specific type of woman… and none of us are her. I don’t need cupcake and egg salad recipes. I’m never again going to wear taffeta on a Sunday morning. Teas and fashion shows are fine for fundraising and fellowship gatherings. But what I really want is actual fellowship. I need mother-figures, mentors, and money management tips, not fashion advice.

I need somebody with the spirit of Naomi, who will walk with me through my grief and for the single ladies, show me how to get a man, or how to live well without one, if that’s what I choose. I need someone with the spirit of Elizabeth, who will provide a safe place for me , who will sing over me, and remind me how blessed I am. I need somebody with the spirit of Shiphrah and Puah who will help me with the work God has called to me to do.

Here’s what I know. Those women exist in our churches. They are on the usher board and in the choir stand, and a whole lot of them are going to be in the convention this week. My prayer is that the church empowers them to walk in their own callings, and not just expect them to walk the runway in their Christian Siriano church lady collection.

Do better, Baptists. The Methodists are calling my name.

Mama Radford

P.S. I’m not saying we shouldn’t have the fashion show. Nobody deserves to get dressed up and celebrated more than church girls/women. Put your good Sunday go-to-meeting gear on and strut yourself down that runway. I’m saying, maybe it’s not the first thing we do, as a body.

P.P.S Women aren’t an auxiliary. We are, in many cases a majority of the church. And in every case, we are the church. We should be treated as such.

Thunderbolts (Spoiler Alert)

Let me be clear. This is not a movie review blog, but lately the movies have been speaking to me. Like almost everyone else with young children, I went to the movies this weekend. We took them to see the Thunderbolts. I had low expectations because I had never heard of the Thunderbolts before I saw the promo. I was fully expecting to fall asleep in the comfy recliner chairs at the bougie movie theater my husband and children prefer. I was presently surprised.

The movie was good. I laughed. I almost cried, and I marveled. I love any movie that makes me think, and this movie made me do just that. Here are my preliminary thoughts.

Even the tiniest story matters. In a comedic bit making fun of John Walker, the disgraced Captain America, the characters all tell terrible stories about their childhoods. Inevitably one of those stories becomes the inspiration for the name of the new the superhero team. This is a reminder that nothing in your life is insignificant. It all matters. Even if you don’t value a particular part of the story, someone will. So please, share your story, no matter how insignificant you think it might be. Someone needs to hear it.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. In this movie, there are people with supernatural abilities and political power. Unfortunately, they do not all use their powers for good. When one character discovers his full potential, he becomes the villain. Another character implies that there are bad people, and worse people, and it is clear that she might be one of the worst. Her quest for power is the basis for the entire movie, and it definitely comes back to bite her in the end.

May is Mental Health month and this movie is about that and so much more. I am a firm believer that every story is a love story and the Thunderbolts is an excellent example. One character loved his daughter. Another loved power. One character was learning to love himself. One was learning to love others. It taught me that love isn’t always about letting in the light. Sometimes, love looks going down into the dark with your loved ones and fighting your way out together.

Sinners (Slight Spoilers)

So, I watched the latest Ryan Coogler movie, and I have to tell you, my mind was blown. I need to see it at least one more time, and next time I’m taking a notebook. The movie was not scary, and I’m scared of almost everything, so if that’s what is keeping you from seeing it, go buy your ticket today.

Here are the top 5 lessons I learned from this incredible movie. I will warn you, there are some spoilers, so if you care about that kind of thing, go see the movie first, and come back.

  1. There is art/music/literature that transcends time and space. It bends genres and crosses cultural divides. These creators must be protected at all costs. They are our future. They are the way out. That’s why book bans and censorship are so dangerous. There is sacred knowledge that the powers that be don’t want us to be able to access. I have long believed that poets are the prophets of this generation. Please take this as my plea to support your local arts. Go to the fairs and the plays. Buy a print, Commission a piece if you can. Tip the musician who is performing at brunch. Read the book, and if you can’t afford any of that, at least like and share good content. Let the artist know you appreciate their work.
  2. ***Spoiler alert***There are people who would rather die than to let their sacred knowledge fall into the wrong hands. Annie, by far, is my favorite character in this movie. Besides being absolutely gorgeous, she was also the only one who knew how to fight the evil outside the door. The reason Stack and Mary were so upset when Annie died is because they knew what a resource she would have been to their tribe. Annie knew it too, which is why she made Smoke promise to do what needed to be done. Annie was a praying woman, a wise old soul with life-saving, life-giving, skills and abilities. There are people and places who would exploit those gifts in the worst ways.
  3. **Slight spoiler alert**Just because you can hop back and forth between two worlds, doesn’t mean you should! I don’t care if you are doing it for financial gain or for fun. There is a danger to your soul and to the people around you. I know that for survival’s sake, many of us have had to code switch for years. It’s a requirement for many communities. It’s actually a valuable skill. But Mary wasn’t code-switching. What she was doing was far more dangerous. She was trying to exploit her appearance and her proximity to whiteness in an effort to make herself more valuable to a community that already valued her. In doing so, she made herself and her loved ones subject to attack.
  4. Heed the warnings. Buying a slaughterhouse from a klansman is wild work. The invaders sang a song about cannibalism, and all our heroes heard was good harmony. Folks are telling you every day who they are. You see it in how they talk to other people. You see it in how they talk to you. You see it in how they vote. Believe your eyes and your ears.
  5. Vampires (formally known as culture vultures) come in every tribe, every language, every Creed and every color. Beware of people and organizations who will drain the very life out of you, while in exchange, they offer you the promise of eternal life. If this movie wasn’t a much needed critique of the American church, I don’t know what is! The movie left me with one very serious question. Who were the sinners, here? Because the vampires looked a whole lot like church folk to me.

I promise there is more, but this is what stood out to me at first glance. I’m interested in your thoughts. In the meantime, a clove a day keeps the vampires away.

Easter Monday (Holy Week 2025)

As a good Baptist, I love an Early Sunday Morning. My favorite service of the year is a sunrise service at a church just down the road from me. They didn’t have a service this year, but I was able to catch a sunrise service at one of my favorite YouTube churches. I love the early morning service at the Alfred Street Baptist Church for many reasons, but one of my favorites is the preacher. The early morning service is usually led by Dr. Judy Fentress-Williams. She’s basically my role model. She’s beautiful, she’s brilliant, and she is a biblical scholar.

Anyway, as usual, Dr. Judy blew my mind. Check her early morning sermon out. Anyway, she reminds me that it was the women who were at the foot of the cross, and that it was the women who sought to honor Jesus, even after his death. It was the women who first received the good news of the Gospel, and it was the women who first proclaimed that good news to other people.

Thank God for the women.

On Easter Monday, I always wonder what happened to the women. After all their service to Jesus and his ministry, they disappear from the narrative. I wonder what they did while the brothers gathered in Galilee? I wonder why no one ever thought to document their journeys. I wonder if they continued to gather, even without the brothers.

The women’s voices mattered. The women’s voices matter today. They matter to me, and they ought to matter to you. But most importantly, the women matter to God. He loved them then, just as he loves us now. And every now and then, I need a sister to remind me just how much God loves me.

Thank God for the women, the ones who brought us the gospel the first time, and those who dare to stand in pulpits and share it today.

Thank God for women.

The Day After (Holy Week 2025)

Heartbroken and weary, the women who had followed Jesus returned to their homes to observe the Sabbath. What do you do when it’s time for worship, but all you want to do is weep?

Easter is usually one of my favorite holidays. But I am dragging this year. I haven’t made the kids Easter baskets. I haven’t cooked a single thing. I haven’t even picked my clothes out for tomorrow.

I imagine the sisters at the cross felt similarly. All week long they were prepared to celebrate one thing, and ended the week feeling like their world had been turned upside down.

I know, simply from scrolling my timeline, that I am not the only person suffering from a broken heart this week, so my questions are these:

How do you prepare for worship?

How does grief impact our worship? How does worship impact our grief?

How can we better serve those who are celebrating and those who are mourning?

Good Friday (Holy Week 2025)

Did you have a good Good Friday? You know who didn’t? Jesus Christ of Nazareth. The day of the crucifixion was not good for him, though it did work out for the good of us.

Usually, I observe Good Friday by attending at least one church service. I sing some of my favorite hymns, and I contemplate all of the sacrifices made on my behalf. I did not do that today. I have not heard a single sermon today. I have not sung a single song about Calvary. The only discussion I had about the cross was with my 14 year old son and my 10 year old daughter, as I quizzed them at breakfast about the significance of Good Friday.

Truthfully, I have never had a good Friday like this. Instead of grieving over my own sin, I am grieving the loss of someone I loved, before I even knew what sin was. Today it’s been hard to see past that, but here is my feeble attempt.

Jesus was tried, convicted, tortured, and sentenced to death in a matter of hours. In an American context, Jesus was deprived of about half of the first ten rights afforded in the US constitution. There was no semblance of justice here. In my mind, it doesn’t matter which rights, but I’d argue that the first, fourth, fifth, sixth and eighth amendments were all violated.

In my mind, an attack on one, is an attack on all. It’s true for the amendments. It’s true for commandments, and it’s true for communities. And now, as so many of our communities are under attack, I’m concerned who will be left to defend us.

Questions : What would justice for Jesus look like? What would justice for Kilmar Abrego Garcia look like? Breonna Taylor? Does justice look different depending on different factors? What are those factors?

For a clearer example of my Good Friday thoughts on Jesus and Justice, check out Michael Harriot’s post. He’s much better at this than I am.

Maundy Thursday (Holy Week Part IV)

For me, this is the hardest day to unpack. So much happened in such a short time period. I’m guessing Jesus rested on Wednesday because he knew he would need the energy for Thursday.

On this day, we get Jesus washing his disciples feet, the keeping of the Passover/The Lord’s Supper, the disciples arguing about who would be greater in the Kingdom, and the Jesus telling Peter he would deny him. How do I boil that down to just under 500 words?

After rereading the story, I have decided to focus today’s reflection on the idea of humility. If you have spent any time reading my posts over the years, you know that I have written multiple times about the Lord’s supper and Passover. It’s one of my favorite topics to discuss. But today I listened to a rabbi give a meditation and in it she reminded me that during the Feast of Unleavened Bread, the Hebrew people were not to ingest anything that was puffed up, and that wasn’t just about bread products. It was about our ego.

Imagine the hubris of the disciples, to have the rabbi, kneeling before them and washing their feet. Then having those same disciples argue about who would be greatest in the kingdom, and then finally, Peter, pledging his allegiance to Jesus and then denying he knew him hours later.

This whole day was a lesson in humility and a warning about the lack there of. During this season of Lent, I never thought to focus on being humble… but rest assured, circumstances during these last few weeks have brought me low. In fact, I feel lower now than I have in years. I’ve cried more in the last week and a half than I did all of last year…and last year wasn’t great.

While all this action is happening on the day before the crucifixion, we see Jesus serving and in prayer. And honestly, I hope that’s what I look like in this very difficult season of my life…serving and praying. I know I’m not doing that great, but I promise I’m trying.

Question 1: Who is being humbled in the foot washing experience, the one who is washing feet, or the one whose feet are being washed?

Question 2: Who have you served during this Lenten season? Who has served you? How can you show your appreciation?

Spy/Silent Wednesday (Holy Week 2025 Part III)

The Bible isn’t specific about what Jesus was doing on the Wednesday before the crucifixion. That’s why some denominations call it Silent Wednesday. Others call it Spy Wednesday, as that is the day Judas Iscariot accepted an offer to betray his rabbi for 30 pieces of silver. (Matthew 26:15)

I’m just going to jump right in with questions today, because I have a lot of them.

Question 1: Why are we so uncomfortable with silence?

I am addicted to background noise. I have absolutely turned my car around and been late for work because I left my headphones at home. I listen to podcasts or music at work. Sometimes I listen to sermons, but there is always some sort of noise going on. I sleep with the TV on, even though it drives my `husband crazy that I “watched” the same episode of Perry Mason for two weeks straight.

As a mother of three, if it’s too quiet in my house, I get nervous. I’ ‘ll go from room to room annoying different members of my family just so they’ll make noise. It’s usually laughter. Sometimes, it’s asking me to leave them alone. I’m fine with either…but the silence scares me.

Question: Using your “holy imagination” (shout out to my favorite black women theologians), what do you think Jesus and the disciples were doing on the Wednesday before the crucifixion?

I find it curious that Judas was by himself that day. Jesus famously sent his disciples out, two by two. So where was Judas’ partner? Perhaps it was the disciples day off. (Disciples don’t get days off. It’s not a job. It’s a way of living, but that’s a topic for another day.) I also find it odd, that Judas went to the chief priests and not the other way around. The religious leaders were trying to figure out how to get Jesus since Sunday. Judas Iscariot showing up must have seemed like a gift from God himself.

And perhaps it was…Satan does not have dominion over mankind. If Satan can only do what God allows, then Satan entering Judas Iscariot had to be allowed by the creator. This idea ought to make you wrestle with your theology. It certainly makes me wrestle with mine.

Question 3: Why do we shift our focus from Jesus to Judas for those of us who call it ‘spy Wednesday?’

I think this question ties into our first question. We are as uncomfortable with being still, as we are with being quiet. Our culture glorifies the hustle. It does not prioritize rest. So when Jesus is doing nothing, we focus on something or someone else. But I know a whole lot of church girls, who could benefit from focusing on the restful savior, as opposed to the industrious betrayer, chasing after a buck.

Question 4: Since we are talking about money, why didn’t Judas have a price in mind?

This man has to be one of the worst negotiators in history. He asks how much they were willing to pay and accepts the first offer. He never asks any questions. He doesn’t make a counter offer.

I feel for Judas, mainly because I too have been a terrible negotiator. I paid too much for every car I’ve ever bought. I accepted job offers, when I should have pushed for a higher salary. I’ve joined ministries not because I wanted to, or because I had something to offer, but because I saw a hole that needed to be filled. I pray that I’ve learned my lesson.

Judas didn’t accurately count the cost. Estimates for the amount in today’s currency range from just over $100 to less than $1500. That’s a large range. It’s somewhere between my cable bill and the mortgage payment. Nevertheless, if somebody offered me that kind of money right now, with no strings attached, I’d likely take it. Unfortunately, for Judas, there were strings.

It wasn’t just the amount of money though. The strings attached to those silver coins were attached to the very fabric of Judas’ life. It wasn’t just a betrayal of Jesus, it was a betrayal of his whole community. HE wouldn’t have been welcome in the synagogue. He would lose all of his friends, and an innocent man would be put to death. Everything about Judas’ life would unravel as a result of this deal, and he made it anyway.

Question: What were some of the hidden costs of your most recent life decision? Would you do it again if you had the opportunity?

Jesus was silent while Judas was making back room deals. Sometimes silence is the better option.

Teaching Tuesday (Holy Week Part II)

Jesús spent the the day on parables and prophecies. He taught on every taboo topic he could think of.

If Sunday was about Jesus and Empire

Monday was about Jesus and Economics

Tuesday is about Jesus and Education.

I do not necessarily believe that knowledge is power, but I do think that it is a key component. I have the spirit of Sid the Science Kid, in that I, too, want to know everything about everything. So I love this picture of Jesus, holding court in the public square, taking questions from the peanut gallery, and refusing to shy away from the hard topics.

I usually take this time to focus on what our churches are teaching, but as a proponent of public education, I want to take this time to think about education in general. I believe that that a well-informed electorate is the cornerstone of a functional democracy…and for some reason, there are people in power who want to keep us as uninformed or as ill-informed as possible. They attack education at every turn, decreasing funding for research, deriding teachers and making it extremely difficult for them to do their jobs.

Jesus taught so that his disciples would be prepared for what’s to come. So yes, even in the Bible, he was teaching to the test. But there has to be more to education than making sure the kids can color in the right circles or punch the right buttons. One of my favorite preachers often tells his congregation that his job is not to make them think what he’s thinking, but to make sure that they are, indeed thinking.

So my Teaching Tuesday questions are:

My church covenant says that I’m supposed to religiously educate my children. Does yours? What does that look like today?

What do you think about the state of education nationally, locally, and personally?

Does the church play a role in public education? Should it?

And last, but certainly not least:

Have you thanked a teacher recently? You should absolutely do that if you haven’t.

Jesus was an amazing teacher, but there are good teachers in schools all over the world. They are a gift, and we should treat them as such.

Same Old Story: Holy Week 2025 (Part 1)

I desperately need Resurrection Power this week (and every week, to be honest) but especially after the absolute worst week of my life. So on Sunday Morning, I sat in one of the back pews of a church I don’t normally frequent, hollered out “Hosanna”, and cried my little eyes out. Then I went to brunch…and both were good for my soul.

Anyway, it’s time for my annual thoughts on Holy Week,

We start on Palm Sunday. Luke 19:28-40. On Palm Sunday, we commemorate the triumphal entry of Jesus into the city of Jerusalem. As he rode into the city, a crowd laid Palm leaves at his feet. Others laid down their coats on the road, and still others cried out “Hosanna!” and “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the LORD. “I didn’t actually get any Palm leaves this year, but that didn’t stop me from crying out, “Have mercy!” and Hosanna!

I was grateful that no one attempted to console or quiet me on Sunday. But in Luke’s telling of the story, the Pharisees asked Jesus to rebuke the folks who were saying those things.

Why? Because acknowledging a King who was not Caesar was dangerous. On Sunday, Jesus’ impromptu parade could be seen as a challenge to the empire. Nobody protects the empire more than folks who are subject to the empire, but who have been given just enough authority to rule over someone else. Jesus being a called a king was a threat, not just to Rome, but to the Jewish authorities who were given some semblance of dominion in the city.

Question: Is faith a threat to empire? How so? Or Why Not?

And y’all are getting a two-fer today. Because on Holy Monday, we get to see one of my favorite new testament stories: Jesus turning over tables in the temple. Mark 11:15-17

Full Disclaimer: I love table-flipping Jesus. As a good Baptist, I believe all things should be done decent and in order… but every now and then, I do wish somebody would come in there and crack the whip a few good times. I done told y’all, I ain’t that good of a Christian! And more often than not, I would be the one Jesus would need to whip into shape.

On day one, Jesus is seen as a threat to the empire. On day two, he is messing with the economy. And we both know that neither the Caesar, nor the church plays about their money. Ask Bishop Marvin Sapp. Also today is April 14th. If you haven’t filed your taxes yet, you might want to get on that.

This is about money, yes, but it’s also about attention, which leads me to my Holy Monday questions:

How do faith and finances impact one another? Which did you spend more time focusing on this week? What tables would you like to see turned over in your own life?

I pray that as we walk together towards the cross of Calvary that you see a new thing in the same old story.